The College Marriage

Many young men and women come out of college having hundreds of different encounters with the opposite sex. A handful of college graduates have, at one point in their life, found themselves in the “college-marriage.” Yes, I know you know what I’m talking about. Ah yes (a sighing sound), the first real love, where infatuation and love go hand in hand. This kind of relationship lasts anywhere from several months to one’s entire four years of college; and many even continue on until long after graduation.

I myself have been tangled in a year-long college relationship, in which I experienced all of the cliché attributes of the sample marriage. Though at the time I had sparkles in my eyes and saw no one but the boy I had so easily attached myself to, I find myself asking the question, “Is a college-marriage rational?” Is it smart to put ourselves in a situation where our heart and mind are so devoted to one individual at such a young age?

For those of you that are unfamiliar with this kind of relationship, I shall set a scene for you…

Sarah, 18, is a Freshman at her new University. The first couple months she was occupied with long nights that lasted into the morning. She and her friends attended every party on campus: fraternity parties, sorority parties, toga parties, you name it. She was having a ****ing good time, especially making out with a different guy every weekend. And let’s face it, we’ve all done it, it’s college right? Some time into her second semester, Sarah met Mark, a 19 yr. old Sophomore majoring in economics. Mark had recently hooked up with Sarah’s roommate but he seemed to fancy Sarah more. They clicked right away and started to spend most of their free time together. Chugging beers at parties turned into nights inside, watching their favorite classics… Varsity Blues and Van Wilder. Mark and Sarah went everywhere together. They walked each other to their classes, ate together at mealtimes, and even played musical beds by rotating the nights they spent in each other’s dorm rooms. Sarah and Mark’s friends began to hint at the amount of time they spent together and without hanging with other groups of students. These remarks only made the two love - birds spend more time away from their friends. Sarah’s roommates complained that they never had the dorm room to themselves so Sarah started spending every night of the week in Mark’s bed. As far as Sarah and Mark went, they continued to exchange their inner-most secrets, as well as their affectionate feelings for one another. It wasn’t long before the words, “I love you” were said and they began to talk about their life together, in the present and in the future. Months turned into years and Mark and Sarah were still a couple into their Junior and Senior year of college. After awhile they began to fight a lot, mostly about trivial things. They would break up and get back together every other week, but it all seemed worth it in the end…until the next fight would occur. Of course, other people were interested in dating Sarah and Mark, but it didn’t seem possible in their eyes to ever be with another person. Or at least not for the moment…..

Mark and Sarah’s situation is very common. Of course, we don’t know how the story ends. Many couples break up before the end of college, and most of the time one person feels swamped by their partner. Sometimes the infatuation turns into obsession and jealousy causes false accusations of cheating. Bottom line is, we are young and should have the freedom to be on our own long enough to know ourselves as an individual. It’s difficult to discover new experiences and meet new people when there is always someone by your side, and I’m not talking about your parents.

Experiences are experiences, and relationships are a part of growing into adulthood, but perhaps relationships should be like a healthy European diet; small meals throughout the day. Take love in small doses until who knows when.