Time To Love

People go to seminars for stuff like this: Where to go to find someone. Places to frequent in order to make a connection...

I was pondering this issue and then some while I was standing somewhere in between the canned food aisle and the bread aisle of the grocery store. I pushed my goody filled cart past plenty of men and women; every now and then exchanging a glance or two, or three. I found plenty of moments where I could have struck up a conversation with an attractive 20-30 something being while reaching for the same Tropicana OJ carton or Progresso soup can. But I didn't... because I didn't feel like it. Maybe it was the circumstances: A long day of work, not feeling physically pristine, Not looking, etc., etc. Who knows?

Whether it's at the supermarket, the museum, that party next Friday, or the cafe down the street, the opportunity is there for you if the time is right. Everyday you can meet someone new and it's entirely up to you and your guts' level to make a move in some way, shape or form. Unless, of course, you're lucky enough to be approached by someone with courage ahead of your game. Hopefully you'll be in the mood to meet and vice versa.

Let's look at it as one big equation: You meet someone and they meet you + If your hearts and everything that life has thrown your way happen to be on the same frequency level = Then so be it. This is not always the case. 

I've been involved in several conversations recently where a friend was racking their thoughts, trying to figure out why he/she seemed so perfect with their lover but life's circumstances set them on two rafts drifting in opposite directions. "Why, oh why?" They asked themselves, "Did something so bound... unwillingly fall a part?" I found myself giving the following advice regarding romantic timing:

The problem is....   "It's not who you meet, it's when you meet them." 

Now, you can interpret this any way you like, but I see it as - It's All About Timing. I've met someone and cared for them dearly but at that specific point in my life, I was completely in my own head and my life was too jumbled to settle into a relationship. The other party had their career in place and their heart ready in the line of fire. He was ready to fall and I was ready to fly.

The constant flow of two people meeting in this world is like the constant movement of a see-saw. Up they go, down you go, up you go, down they go. When you find someone on the other side who can help you to effortlessly settle the see-saw to a steady balance, well, then you know. The time is right. 

2 comments:

Unknown said...

pamela, please keep posting frequently--your insights are gifts! i think the metaphor of a seesaw when it comes to love and timing is just perfect. recently i walked through a restaurant that i used to frequent with an ex-lover. it had been yrs since i had been there. literally, i entered and exited through the back within a minute. it was like entering and exiting a time portal. when i had been there last i was so wrapped up in love that i could not fathom ever being balanced without that person. what a difference in consciousness a few yrs can make. i felt very above it all as i walked through restaurant nostalgically smiling at my misguided self from yrs ago. but in the end no matter how zen i try to be --- im sure i look just as silly now attempting to balance seesaw alone.

Dr. Relationships said...

I much prefer your symbolism of love taking place in playgrounds to Pat Benatar's concept of love on a battlefield. Whether you are going up and down on a seesaw or climbing the monkey bars or sliding down the sliding pond you are "letting go" which is the first step toward connecting with another person. Of course, we always have to be careful in the playground!

 

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